


never grow up

by krashlyntome (bestthreemonths)



Series: frictionverse [2]
Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-28
Updated: 2016-05-28
Packaged: 2018-07-10 19:44:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7003807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bestthreemonths/pseuds/krashlyntome
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A year after getting married, Ali and Ashlyn decide it's time to grow their family.</p>
            </blockquote>





	never grow up

There’s nothing Ashlyn loves more than surprise visits from Ali at school, so when she gets a text saying “here for lunch with Mac… come join?” it’s all she can do to stop herself from skipping to the lower school cafeteria to meet her wife.

“Hello, gorgeous,” she says when she sees Ali, who looks better than ever—then again, she thinks that every time she sees her—sitting at the cafeteria table with an empty seat next to her right across from Mac and Georgia, who have finally found themselves in the same class again in the fourth grade.

“Hi, I saved you a seat,” Ali says, patting the seat beside her and kissing her on the cheek.

“Mom, look!” Mac exclaims, directing Ali’s attention to the ketchup she drew in a heart.

“How cute!” Ali says, snapping a picture with her phone. “Did you guys learn anything new today?”

As Mackenzie and Georgia chatter away about their group book report that they absolutely need to work on this weekend so they absolutely must have a sleepover (“We’ll see how the rest of the week goes,” Ali says to appease them), Ashlyn barely takes her eyes off Ali. Her grin still sets Ashlyn ablaze, and Ali still blushes when she catches Ashlyn staring.

Ali bites her lip, looking over at Ashlyn. “Do you have any meetings after lunch? Or can I come back to your office?”

“I have a few minutes,” Ashlyn says, raising an eyebrow. “Just a few.” It wouldn’t be the first time they’d gotten carried away in her office, but she does have just long enough for a quick makeout session. Besides, she started her period this morning, so it’s not going there no matter what.

When the lunch bell rings, Ali and Ashlyn hug Georgia and Mac goodbye, and Ali slips her hand into Ashlyn’s for the walk back to her office. Since they got married, they’ve been much more comfortable with tiny displays of affection like this, and nobody at school seems to mind.

“What a nice surprise,” Ashlyn says, unlocking the door to her office. “I was wondering what I’d do for lunch.”

“I have to admit, I didn’t just come for lunch,” Ali says, wrapping her arms around Ashlyn’s waist once they’re safely inside.

“You don’t say.”

“Today’s the day,” Ali says.

“Yeah it is.”

“You'll be home in time to take me?”

“Of course,” Ashlyn says, resisting the urge to roll her eyes. “Brian’s picking up the girls after school. We’ll get Mackenzie after, and I'll make dinner while you lie in bed.”

“Okay,” Ali says. She already knows all that, but it relieves her to hear it again from Ashlyn in that calm tone of voice. “Can I lie on the couch though? I might get lonely in bed.”

Ashlyn laughs. “Yes, you can lie on the couch.” She kisses Ali softly. “How do you feel?”

“Like making a baby,” Ali says.

They decided to start trying after they’d been married for a year. Technically they’d started a little early, with Ashlyn going on fertility medication at the beginning of August, the idea being that she would be around to help out next summer when the baby finally arrives.

Deciding who would carry the baby was easy once Ali warmed to the idea of having kids at all. First of all, she’s been pregnant before, even though it was more than nine years ago. Secondly, her job makes things a lot more flexible than Ashlyn’s. 

The slightly more difficult conversation was figuring out just how to go about it. The easier (and far less expensive) option would have been for Ali to undergo artificial insemination, but it was important enough to both of them to make it a complete team effort that they went the less conventional route, using a sperm donor and Ashlyn’s eggs.

The agreement was to try two rounds of in vitro, and if it didn’t work either time, it wasn’t meant to be, and they would start looking at other avenues (which do not include sperm donation from Brent, which was Ashlyn’s “genius” idea). They’re both open to the idea of adoption, especially since Liz started fostering children when she realized she wants to be a mom more than she wants to be married and that the two things aren't mutually exclusive. They also decided not to tell anyone they’re trying, especially Mackenzie, who will be the first one to know, but not until the first trimester is over.

The tag-team effort began Friday with harvesting Ashlyn’s eggs, and Ashlyn still can't believe that there's going to be a maybe-baby (a more fun term than embryo) ready to go already. What she really can't believe is that they have to wait another ten days to know if Ali's actually pregnant. Ashlyn is not the most patient person. But right now, Ali is wringing her hands and avoiding the inevitable moment when she has to leave the comfort of Ashlyn’s presence, and that's more important.

“Hey,” Ashlyn says softly, wrapping her arms around Ali’s shoulders and squeezing her tight. She kisses the top of her head. “It's going to go perfectly. I promise.”

~

Ashlyn has never broken a promise to Ali, and she sure as hell isn’t going to start now, she thinks as they sit in the sterile room, waiting for the results of the blood test.

“How do you feel?” Ali asks her. Imagine that, Ali being more concerned about Ashlyn’s well-being when she's the one being pricked and prodded. It's just too Ali.

“Scared,” Ashlyn says, opting for honesty. “But if there’s no baby in there, we’re still good. It'll all be fine, because I've got you and you've got me.”

Ali squeezes Ashlyn’s left hand, finding comfort in the cool metal of the ring on her finger. She doesn’t feel pregnant, but then again, it’s been almost ten years since she last was. And by the time she knew she was, she was well over a month along. This is totally uncharted territory.

“Hey, ladies,” Dr. Santos says, slipping through the door quietly. Her voice is always soft and gentle as if she’s being careful not to alarm them. “Are you cold? I can get you a blanket.”

Ali realizes she’s shivering slightly, so she tries to recover. “No, no, I’m okay,” she says. In reality, she isn’t shaking because she’s cold, but because she’s nervous, but the hairs sticking up on her arms beg to differ.

“Our initial test says your hCG levels indicate pregnancy,” she says, smiling.

Ashlyn lets out a breath she didn’t know she was holding, and Ali’s grip on her hand tightens as she lets out her own breath.

“Now, we’ll continue monitoring this. We’d typically look for your levels to double every other day, but they started a little high, so we won’t freak out if they don’t.”

“Right,” Ashlyn says, only half following. All she really knows is that for all intents and purposes, Ali is pregnant.

“If they’re high, what does that mean?” Ali asks.

“The higher the better,” Dr. Santos says with a smile. “We’ll do another test on Monday to track your progress, and if everything looks good then, we’ll schedule your first ultrasound and take a look at that baby.”

Ali's hand moves to her stomach as if she's able to feel something, and her eyes fill with tears. “Really?” she asks.

“Really,” Dr. Santos replies. “Based on the transfer dates, you’re looking at…” She punches a few numbers into her iPad. “May 10 as a due date. And you're more than welcome to resume normal activity now, I know that's often a concern.”

“Oh yeah,” Ashlyn says, eliciting a laugh from Ali. She had told them to refrain from any “uterus-bouncing” activities, including running and sex, but with Mac at Brent’s for the weekend, Ashlyn can't think of any better way to celebrate than with a glass of wine and—oh, right. Well, just sex will do, then.

~

When they return to the doctor’s office Monday, they get the news they were hoping for. All of Ali's numbers are up, meaning the pregnancy is proceeding exactly as it should. They're both hesitant to use the word baby till they actually see an ultrasound, but Dr. Santos, an actual angel, assures them that it's just like any other pregnancy: There are risks involved, but for a woman of Ali’s age and health, there's no reason to worry.

“It feels wrong that Mac isn't here,” Ali whispers as she lies on the cot waiting for the ultrasound technician to come in. “To meet her little brother or sister.”

“It's better this way,” Ashlyn reminds her. “She'll know when she needs to know.”

It was hard enough waiting for Ali to reach her sixth week of pregnancy when Ashlyn really wanted to see the baby as soon as possible, but Dr. Santos recommended six weeks to reduce the risk of freak-out if they couldn't hear a heartbeat initially. Ashlyn has a feeling the next nine months are going to feel like this constantly with so much waiting to do.

Ali reflexively reaches for Ashlyn’s hand when the tech, a cute blonde named Julie who Ashlyn shamelessly flirted with when they first came in, comes back into the room to prep her. She certainly never had an ultrasound like this with Mackenzie, because by the time she was far enough along to know she was pregnant and start seeking pre-natal care, she was far enough along that a normal ultrasound was all that was necessary. This feels more like a trip to the gynecologist with her feet in stirrups and legs spread open wide.

“That's hot, babe,” Ashlyn whispers teasingly to take the edge off.

“Alright,” Julie says, moving the probe around. It's not painful, per se, but Ali has definitely experienced more pleasurable things in her life. The image on the screen becomes more clear, and Ali strains to listen beyond what sounds like a lot of whooshing to hear the heartbeat. 

“It's kinda blurry,” Ashlyn says, laughing nervously. 

Then there it is, strong and fast, and Ali breathes a sigh of relief. “That's it!” she exclaims. Ashlyn grips her hand tighter, her eyes filling with tears as she kisses her wife on the forehead. Julie smiles at them, but when she turns back to the screen, her expression becomes unreadable.

“I’ll be right back,” she says, getting up. “I'm going to grab Dr. Santos.”

“Is something wrong?” Ashlyn asks, standing.

“I'll be right back,” Julie says again.

Ashlyn turns to Ali, whose face is white. “What's going on?” Ali asks, knowing full well Ashlyn won't have the answer.

“I'm going to find out.” Ashlyn walks out the door and sees Julie talking with Dr. Santos in hushed voices. “What's happening?” she asks. “Just tell me. I should know, so I'm ready when she finds out.”

“I think if Dr. Johnston’s correct, you’d like to be together,” Dr. Santos says. “Come on.” She opens the door to the room, where Ali is on the verge of tears, but not the good kind anymore. “I hear we have a strong heartbeat,” she says brightly.

“That's what I thought,” Ali says. Ashlyn moves back to her side, brushing her hair back as Dr. Santos takes Julie’s place.

“Hm,” she says, moving the probe around and staring intently at the screen until she finds what she's looking for. “Ah. There we go. Good eye.”

“Good ear,” Julie says, grinning.

“What's going on?” Ashlyn asks again, exasperated.

“That strong heartbeat you heard?” Dr. Santos says, looking up at Ashlyn and Ali. “It's actually two heartbeats.”

“What?” Ashlyn and Ali exclaim in unison.

“They’re pretty in sync, but if we listened for long enough, you’d probably be able to hear them distinctly,” she explains.

“You're kidding,” Ashlyn says.

“We only transferred one embryo,” Ali protests.

The doctor’s soft smile doesn't falter. “There is a correlation between eggs that were treated with fertility medicine like Ashlyn’s were and embryos splitting, so even though we only implanted one embryo, I'm not necessarily shocked to see two in there now. And this would explain why your hCG levels are unusually high. Double the embryos, double the numbers. Essentially.”

“What does this mean?” Ali asks. The room feels cold all of a sudden, and she's hyper-aware of how little coverage she has, shivering against the table as she reaches for Ashlyn again.

“A few things,” Dr. Santos says. “First of all, those are two embryos that are developing right on track. Having twins does mean this is a higher risk pregnancy, but millions of women carry twins to full term these days and deliver perfectly healthy babies. I would still advise waiting for the first trimester to be over to share the news, but you may start to show a little earlier, especially given your frame.”

Ali nods slowly, looking at Ashlyn as if for assurance that this is good news. Ashlyn looks shell-shocked, but she smiles at Ali and kisses the hand she's holding.

“It's a little early to see much of anything,” Dr. Santos says. “I have to imagine if I'd been the one doing the ultrasound I wouldn't have caught it for another few weeks, so it's good that Dr. Johnston trusted her instincts.”

“So what do we do now?” Ashlyn asks.

“Well, I'm going to print a picture for you to take home, and I'll send you a digital copy too. Ali, proceed as normal. You can exercise like normal, have sex, go swimming with your little one. Everything you can do with one baby you can do with two. Pay attention to your symptoms, you have my cell if anything abnormal comes up, but I can assure you that as of right now, there's nothing to worry about.”

Ali can feel her pulse speeding up against the clip attached to her finger to keep track of her heartbeat.

“How about that, baby?” Ashlyn whispers when both doctors have left to give them privacy. “Two for the price of one.”

“Can we even do this?” Ali asks.

“We have nine months to get ready,” Ashlyn assures her.

“We’re down to eight!” Ali exclaims. “Maybe less if I don’t carry them to term.”

“Hey,” Ashlyn whispers, kissing her softly. “We’ve got this. Plans change, but people would kill for this outcome. One round of treatment, two babies. Twins. That’s kinda cool. Think about how excited Mac’s going to be.”

“Making up for not giving her a baby sister last year,” Ali says, smiling. “Oh God, what if they’re both boys?”

“Well, they’re going to be two of the same sex,” Ashlyn says. “If it's two boys, Mac will stay the princess, and I'm sure she’ll still use them as dolls to play dress-up with whether they like it or not.”

“And if it's two girls?”

“Then we’re in for an expensive 18 years,” Ashlyn sighs, smirking at Ali. “But guess what? We get to do it together.”

~

Hiding the big news gets tricky fast. Nobody is rude enough to ask Ali if she's pregnant, but when she goes to volunteer in Mac’s class and has to run to the bathroom to be sick, more than a few eyebrows raise. After that, she starts wearing flowier clothing and only volunteering once a week, but the biggest change is her sudden absence from Ashlyn’s office, where she often hangs out to work quietly when Ashlyn doesn't have meetings, preferring the company to the quiet house.

“Are things okay?” Whitney asks one day over lunch. “I haven't seen Ali in a while.”

“Yeah, she's just been busy,” Ashlyn says, avoiding Whitney’s eye contact.

“Are you guys in therapy again?” Whit whispers.

“We never stopped,” Ashlyn laughs. “But we’re fine. She's good.”

“Okay,” Whitney says slowly. “You'd tell me if something were wrong, right? I mean, you stopped coming to Scandal Thursdays.”

“Whit,” Ashlyn says. “We’re fine. Thank you for your concern.”

“Ali's pregnant, isn't she?” Kelley asks, bursting into Ashlyn’s office, flanked by Alex.

“What?” Ashlyn exclaims, choking on her salad. “Why would you say that?”

“Because she is,” Alex says, placing her hands on her hips. “I wouldn't say it to her just in case, but it's not because she's fat. I mean, she's not fat! At all!”

Ashlyn laughs. “I know,” she says. “I'm the one who sleeps with her.”

“That makes so much more sense,” Whitney says, realization dawning on her. “Of course you can't come to Scandal Thursdays, then she’d have to turn down wine, which is like, illegal.”

“She will kill me if she thinks I told you,” Ashlyn groans, resigning herself to the lesser of two evils between lying to them just to be found out in a few weeks and going against Ali’s wishes. Though as soon as she thinks it through, she realizes that was totally the wrong choice. “Please do not talk to her or tell anyone else. Mac doesn't know yet, we were going to tell her this weekend.”

“Eek!” Alex squeals, clapping giddily. “I knew it!”

“Screw you, I knew first,” Kelley grumbles.

“Knew what?” Ali asks, peeking in. She's wearing a jacket that's far too heavy for early November when some days are still warm enough for short sleeves.

“Um,” Kelley stutters. “Ryan proposed!”

“Oh my God!” Ali exclaims. “Congratulations!”

“What the hell, Kel!” Whit hisses.

“Uh, she said no,” Kelley says. “So no ring.”

Ali narrows her eyes, looking around the room. Alex is barely containing her laughter, Whitney is rolling her eyes, and Ashlyn’s face is turning redder by the second.

“You didn't,” she says, eyes landing on Ashlyn.

“She didn't!” Alex says, rushing to Ashlyn’s defense. “Kelley and I were talking about how you guys hadn't been coming to Scandal Thursdays, and she jokingly said maybe you're pregnant, and we cornered Ashlyn. It was our fault. I’m sorry, you can still pretend we don't know.”

Ali rolls her eyes, lifting a canvas bag. “I was coming here to show Ashlyn all the cute crafty things I bought for the announcement.”

“I want to see!” Alex exclaims, taking the bag from her. “Oh my God, so cute. How far along are you? Are you going to find out the sex? Can I feel your bump?”

“There's no kicking yet,” Ali warns, but she shrugs off her jacket to reveal a sizable bump. “You can see why we have to tell people soon.”

“You're already the cutest pregnant lady,” Whitney gushes.

“You should have seen me with Mac, I was a whale,” Ali groans. “I'm only twelve weeks and I look like I'm six months.”

“Was it planned?” Kelley asks.

“Oh my God, Kel,” Alex says, rolling her eyes. “How exactly would this have happened by accident?”

“Oh, right,” she says. “Well congratulations! Alex and Serv keep putting off babies, so it's about damn time we have a baby in the squad.”

“It might be a while before they're able to keep up with your hard-partying ways,” Ashlyn says, not getting the lasers Ali is shooting with her eyes. “But I have no doubt they'll be incredibly loved and spoiled.”

“They?” Whitney asks, raising her eyebrows, and finally Ashlyn makes eye contact with Ali.

“Oh fuck,” Ashlyn curses, realizing she's spilled the beans twice now.

The bell rings signaling the end of lunch, and Kelley and Alex groan as they turn to leave, stopping first to pat Ali's belly (“for good luck,” Kelley says),

“You got off easy this time,” Ali says. “But now we need to tell Mac. Tonight. At breakfast for dinner. And no more telling people it's twins. When I get fat enough that I need a better excuse than just pregnancy, then we can tell them.”

~

Mackenzie comes home in a bad mood after a fight with Georgia at school, making Ashlyn reassess whether they should tell her, but when she remembers it's Wednesday and it's breakfast for dinner night, she perks right up.

When they get to the restaurant, Mackenzie insists on sitting next to Ali, forcing Ashlyn to the other side of the booth. Ali clears her throat when she feels it's time, which happens when Mac cuts into her waffles.

“Mac, Mommy and I have a surprise for you,” Ashlyn says.

“You know how you've been asking every year for a little sibling for your birthday and Christmas? And then Daddy and Kimberly had Tucker?” Ali asks. Brent and Kimberly had their first baby together not long after Ashlyn and Ali’s wedding, just about a year ago. Mac nods. “Well, now Ashlyn and I are having a baby too. Two babies, actually.”

Mac’s jaw drops, and her fork falls to her plate. “No way.”

“Yes way,” Ali laughs. “Are you excited?”

“For my birthday?”

“It won't be quite so soon, but by next summer,” Ali says. “That's why I haven't been feeling very well.”

“Is one of them a baby sister?” Mac asks.

“We don't know yet, but you can come to the doctor with us when we find out, how does that sound?” Ashlyn offers.

Mac turns her attention to Ashlyn and furrows her brow. “I didn't know you had a penis.”

“What?” Ali exclaims as Ashlyn chokes on her water.

“You and Daddy told me how babies are made,” Mackenzie says. They had gone through the whole talk when Kimberly got pregnant, everyone agreeing it was best to be honest and open with Mackenzie (to an extent) about sex, including the anatomically correct words to use. The only time it had gotten them in hot water was when Mackenzie went to school and conspiratorially told all the boys on the playground that she knows what's inside their penises. “You don't have a penis, so does Ashlyn?”

“No, baby,” Ali says, smiling. Her confusion makes sense, and while she wasn't sure how detailed they should get, it's certainly an easier conversation than the one about why people have sex. “The doctor took the eggs in Ashlyn’s uterus and mixed them with sperm and put them inside my uterus.”

“Did it hurt?” Mac asks, wide-eyed.

“No, it didn't,” Ashlyn says.

“Where did the sperm come from?”

“God,” Ashlyn says seriously.

“Ashlyn!” Ali chastises, kicking her under the table. “A man donated it.”

“Who?”

“We don't know him,” Ali says. “But that's okay, because they're going to be our babies. Ashlyn and I are going to be their mommies.”

“Oh, Ashlyn!” Mac gasps. “You're going to be a mommy too?”

“Yep,” Ashlyn says, grinning proudly.

“Will I still be your princess?” Mac asks, frowning. “Even if you have your own babies?”

“They’re going to be our babies,” Ali says. “Mine and Ashlyn’s. And yours too. They’re going to be part of our family.”

“And you'll always be my princess,” Ashlyn promises, holding out her pinky to swear it.

~

After dinner, they FaceTime both sides of their family with Mackenzie, which ends up keeping her up well past her bedtime, but it’s worth it to see the delight on her face every time she announces she’s going to be a big sister (again). They decide to keep the twin news inside the family so the grandparents can start preparing for just how much they’re going to spoil them silly.

They find out the sex of the babies on Mackenzie’s birthday, per her request. The plan is for Ali and Ashlyn to look away from the screen when the doctor does the ultrasound and then for the doctor to tell Mackenzie in the hallway and let Mackenzie come back in and tell them, but the pure joy on Mac’s face when she walks back into the room makes it less of a surprise when she announces she’s going to have two baby sisters.

“Five girls in one house is going to get a little bit insane,” Ashlyn murmurs, but Ali couldn’t be more elated. She knows how to raise a girl. Sure, having two at a time will complicate things, and she knows there’s much more to it than biological sex, but she can feel her nerves slipping away and her confidence growing every day.

Christmas is the first time they see Ashlyn’s family since Ali got pregnant, and they’re thrilled to feel the babies kicking. Ali and Ashlyn think they must be playing together, because as soon as one starts, the other always joins in. Ali thinks she can tell them apart sometimes based on where they’re situated, but sometimes they manage to move while she sleeps and the next time she’s at the doctor, she realizes she’s been calling each baby by the wrong number.

“We need names,” she announces one night while they're lying in bed, Ashlyn pressing her hand into her belly, willing them to move. They're most active during the day when Ashlyn is at work, which makes her absolutely insane when she gets home and they won't move.

“Just let Mackenzie pick,” Ashlyn says. “We’ll probably end up divorcing over it.”

“You're right,” Ali sighs. “I guess they'll just have to be named after every Disney princess there's ever been.”

“Charlotte,” Ashlyn says. “That's been first on my list since I read Charlotte’s Web, and then it was the first book I read with you and Mackenzie, and it just feels fitting.”

“It does, doesn't it?” Ali says. “Charlotte. Charlotte. Charlotte Krieger-Harris.”

“What?” Ashlyn asks. “Krieger-Harris? Any name is going to sound awful with that.”

“What, do you want it to be Harris-Krieger?”

“I didn't realize you'd want your last name to be part of it.”

“Are you nuts?”

“Well I don't know, Mac’s last name is just Wise.”

“I was young and stupid,” Ali says. “I'm carrying two babies whose favorite place to stand is my bladder. So yeah, they're going to have my name.”

“Fine, Harris-Krieger it is,” Ashlyn says, putting her hands up in surrender.

~

The selection process for their sperm donor was painstakingly slow. Ali and Ashlyn tried not to be picky, but it was hard to decide whether to trade a firefighter’s rugged good looks and brute strength for a computer programmer’s brains and smile.

One thing that was essential was that they find someone who could make a baby that at least somewhat resembles Mac. That was kind of where Ashlyn’s suggestion about using Brent’s sperm came from. At home, skin color has never mattered. It’s just a fact of life that Mackenzie has darker skin than Ali, even when Ali gets really tan in the summer (because Mackenzie gets darker too).

It never bothered anyone until Ali started taking Mackenzie out by herself, and people’s heads started to turn. She worried constantly about Mackenzie noticing the attention, but over time, those fears subsided, especially as Mackenzie grew up and the first thing anyone noticed about her wasn’t her skin color, but her vibrant personality and striking beauty.

But Ali worried about Mackenzie feeling out of place next to a “half” sibling, which was one of the main reasons she didn’t want to have kids after splitting up with Brent. Since Brent had another baby, she’s begun to see that those fears were mostly unfounded, but still, when looking for a sperm donor, she wanted someone who—one way or another—could make babies that look at least sort of like Mackenzie. She knows the babies will come out how they will (especially because Ashlyn’s winter base skin tone is at least a few shades lighter than Ali’s, a point of major contention when it comes to makeup and clothes during those months), but she knows no matter what, Mackenzie won’t even notice when it comes to loving them and being the best big sister she can be.

Still, Ali isn’t expecting it when Mac curls up next to her on the couch and places a hand on her belly and asks, “Mommy, are the babies going to look like you and Ashlyn?”

“I don’t know, sweetheart,” Ali says. “I’m just carrying them, so they probably won’t look like me. Not as much as you do, anyway. They’ll probably look more like Ashlyn.”

“Will you love them more because they come from Ashlyn?”

“Absolutely not,” Ali says. “I’ll love you all equally, just like Ashlyn will. And just like Daddy and Kimberly love you and Tucker.”

“But I’m dark like Daddy.”

“Why does that matter?”

“I don’t know,” Mackenzie shrugs. “You don’t love Daddy anymore.”

“That has nothing to do with you,” Ali says, wrapping both arms around Mackenzie, more of a feat than it used to be with her big belly in the way. “I love Daddy, I’m just not in love with him. I’m in love with Ashlyn. She’s the love of my life. Forever. And so are you. And so are the babies. Who, for the record, are going to come out wrinkly and really weird-looking. But we’re going to love them all the same.”

“Was I wrinkly and weird-looking?”

“The wrinkliest,” Ali laughs, kissing the top of her head. “No matter how they look, though, we’re all a family, right? You don’t look like Ashlyn, but she’s your family.”

“I hope they do look like her,” Mackenzie decides. “Ashlyn is beautiful.”

“Yes she is,” Ali agrees. “And so are you.”

~

As Ali’s belly grows, so does Ashlyn’s desire to be around her at all hours of the day. Nobody at school minds seeing Ali all the time, especially because they all want updates and to feel the babies kick, but at 32 weeks, the doctor puts a stop to it. The babies are at a healthy weight, but because Dr. Santos wants them to cook a little longer, she orders Ali to partial bed rest.

Ali is bad at bed rest, which comes as a surprise to nobody. When Ashlyn comes home on the first day to a perfectly clean house and dinner roasting in the Crock Pot, she rolls her eyes.

“Alexandra,” she says, walking into their bedroom, where Ali is innocently sitting up in bed. “You didn’t rest at all.”

“I did so,” Ali replies. “It’s partial bed rest.”

“It’s staying off your feet as much as you can and letting other people take care of you,” Ashlyn says.

“And no sex,” Ali pouts. Dr. Santos had practically made them take a vow of celibacy for four weeks because orgasms can trigger contractions and labor. Once she reaches 36 weeks, God willing, Dr. Santos said they could have at it till the babies are born.

Ashlyn rolls her eyes. “My point is I can’t take off work till the babies come, so don’t make me call your mom to come over here and stay with you.”

“No,” Ali groans. “I’ll be good, I promise.”

“Good,” Ashlyn says, crawling into bed beside her. The babies are still moving around, so she presses a small kiss to her stomach. “How do you feel?”

“Tired,” Ali admits. “But I’m kind of always tired these days.”

“You’re carrying a lot around,” Ashlyn says, her hand slipping under her shirt to feel the bump she’s grown to love so much. “I’m excited for when they can start wearing me out too.”

“You mean me waking up at 3 a.m. with heartburn isn’t doing it for you?”

“Not as much as when I’m spooning you and wake up with baby feet kicking me away.”

“They feel crowded when you’re cuddling me too tight,” Ali teases.

“They’re going to have to get over it, because I’m going to cuddle you that tight for the rest of our lives.”

~

Ali goes into labor on a Friday just after Ashlyn goes back to school after coming home to have lunch with Ali.

“Miss me already?” Ashlyn laughs as she picks up the phone in the car.

“Turn around,” Ali says between deep breaths. “They’re coming. Now.”

Ashlyn literally takes a U-turn in the middle of the road, thankful that her lunch hour is earlier than normal working people’s lunch hours, and speeds home.

“You didn’t get Mackenzie,” Ali says.

“I didn’t know I was supposed to?”

Ali bursts into tears. “Of course you were! She’s supposed to be here.”

“Hey, hey, breathe,” Ashlyn says calmly. “We have enough on our hands. Brent will pick her up and take her to the hospital after school. That’s always been the plan. Let’s get you into the car and to the hospital. Come on.” She takes Ali’s hand and places another hand on the small of her back, leading her to the car, which is already packed with the necessities to bring to the hospital.

Ali freezes when she feels another contraction, squeezing her eyes shut and attempting to breathe through it. She lets out a loud moan of a mixture of pain and relief when it subsides, and Ashlyn rubs her back soothingly.

“This part is really hard,” Ali cries when they're finally checked in and in a room. She's having flashbacks to Mackenzie’s birth, which was the most terrifying experience of her life. She was 21 years old and all alone, crying for her mom. Brent got there just in time, but he was as young as she was and scared out of his mind too.

“I know, baby,” Ashlyn says, pressing a cold compress to her hot cheeks. “I'm so proud of you. You're doing so good. I'm here. I'm here.”

And that's the biggest difference. Ashlyn is here, and Ali doesn't have to be scared about being a good mom because she's been doing it for ten years. Ashlyn is here to help in whatever way she can, and she's going to be an amazing mom too.

Brent was flushed and sweaty, and Ashlyn is cool and collected despite seeing way more than she wanted when the nurse checked Ali’s cervix dilation.

“The babies are good, they're healthy and strong and ready to join the world,” Ashlyn says, continuing to whisper reassurance in her ear. “They want to meet their mommies and their big sister, and they're honestly probably pretty sick of each other by now.”

“I love you,” Ali says. She's still crying, but the shaking has calmed down.

“Ready to start pushing?” Dr. Santos asks, walking into the room and putting on latex gloves.

Ali squeezes Ashlyn’s hand and gives a firm, sure nod. “Ready.”

~

Charlotte Elizabeth and Emma Josephine (Mackenzie’s contribution after her favorite character in Little Women) Harris-Krieger arrive just five minutes apart, gracing the world with wails and shrieks initially, but two hours later, when the madness has died down, they exist in coos and small gurgles.

Their eyes, unaccustomed to the light, stay squeezed shut, but they seem to know when they're being held by one of their mothers by the way they settle.

It's Brent’s weekend with Mac, which he graciously volunteers part of to bring her to the hospital to meet her sisters. They're beautiful, and he tells Ali just that, smiling as he watches Ashlyn gently place Charlotte into Mackenzie’s waiting arms in the armchair next to Ali’s bed.

“They're gorgeous,” Ali murmurs to Ashlyn as Emma attempts to nurse. Her milk hasn't come in yet, but Ashlyn still feels slightly envious that they'll be so reliant on Ali for such a long time after birth.

“They're so soft,” Ashlyn says, stroking the back of the baby’s head with her thumb. “And tiny. Imagine how much smaller they would be if they hadn't stayed in as long as they did.”

“Yeah,” Ali says drily. “Probably would have hurt a lot less.”

Ashlyn smiles, kissing her on the forehead. “You're a trooper,” she says. “A badass mom.”

“You are too,” Ali says, lifting up her chin for a real kiss. “Welcome to the club.”

“I got a lot of great practice,” Ashlyn reminds her. “Georgia and Mackenzie were awesome pre-motherhood babies.”

Charlotte begins to fuss from her place in Mackenzie’s arms, and Ashlyn walks around the bed to take her. At the same moment, Emma decides she's had enough boob for now and unlatches.

“Trade you,” Ashlyn suggests, handing Charlotte to Ali and taking Emma, who falls asleep immediately.

“So I'm going to be nursing babies nonstop for at least the next six months while you get to just cuddle them? That's fair,” Ali jokes as Charlotte latches on to her other nipple.

~

Not surprisingly, the twins don't exactly cooperate with an easy trade-off schedule. It's not uncommon to find Ali holding them both in bed as she struggles to keep her eyes open while they nurse.

Mackenzie takes her role as big sister and Mommy’s helper very seriously, and aside from a few temper tantrums when she doesn't feel she's getting enough attention, she settles into her new normal pretty well. 

The twins’ arrival actually brings Ashlyn and Mac closer together. When Ali isn't breastfeeding or burping or changing a baby (though Ashlyn gets to help with some of that, even feeding now that Ali pumps), she's sleeping or working (even though she's technically on maternity leave).

Ashlyn is in charge of school pick-up, drop-off, bathtime, bedtime, breakfast, dinner, soccer practice, gymnastics practice, ballet, and making sure Mackenzie’s homework is done. She also takes it upon herself to get Mackenzie out of the house when she can just to play and get some time away from crying babies.

“Even though the babies wake me up sometimes, I really like them,” Mackenzie says. “I think they're going to be a lot of fun when they can walk.”

“They're going to love playing with their big sister,” Ashlyn says. “You can teach them so many things.”

“Maybe this time I can read our favorite books to them.”

“I think your mom would love that.”

“If you're the babies’ mom, why aren't you my mom too?” Mackenzie wonders aloud.

“What do you mean?” Ashlyn asks. “You have a mom. And a dad.”

“Yeah, but why can I just have one of each?” Mackenzie asks. “The babies get two moms and no dad. Why can't I have two moms and a dad?”

“Well,” Ashlyn starts before realizing she doesn't know how to answer. “I guess there aren't really any rules. Your family can be whoever you want.”

“So you can be my mom?” Mac asks. “And I can keep my other mom?”

“Sure,” Ashlyn laughs. “And Kimberly too. But it might get confusing if you called us all mommy.”

Mackenzie nods seriously. “No, I'll still call you Ashlyn.”

“Can I tell you a secret?” Ashlyn asks. Mackenzie nods quickly. “Before the babies came, I was excited and nervous about being a mom for the first time. But then when they got here, I wasn't scared because you made me realize I kind of was a mom all along and didn't know it.”

Mackenzie grins and hugs Ashlyn so hard she nearly knocks her over. “Don’t worry,” she whispers. “I knew it.”


End file.
